the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
