chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
