Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
