He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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