I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
