I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
