so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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