I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
