You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
