We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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