Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
