How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize