You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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