I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
