drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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