SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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