the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
MIDGETS
????
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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