sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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