Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
