Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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