im drinking this country out of the recession.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
