Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you win again, gameday.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
