I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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