just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
sex in a hospital.. check
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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