Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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