only if we run a train.
done.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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