Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
