let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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