jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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