Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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