The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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