How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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