well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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