Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
