Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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