So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
