whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
