I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she told me i tasted like america
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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