"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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