If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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