I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
