Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
