Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You may now shotgun with the bride
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
