K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize