You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
