Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
