im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
