you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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