Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize