Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
