how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Randomize