talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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