And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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