I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
