yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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