I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
