Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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