What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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