He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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