I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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