Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
