I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
