Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
