I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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