this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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