Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize