belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
