i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
