The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
