saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize