Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
