I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
