i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
